I am typically a slow-adapter to new trends, styles or even technology. It took me awhile to get the hang of AI, but recently- I feel like I use it all the time. (I didn’t use it to write this blog however.) 😉

As a homeschooling mom of four kids under the age of 10, I am constantly trying to improve myself, be more efficient, meal plan for a large family, improve how I homeschool, come up with activities for my toddlers, etc. The list could go on and on. I really like having this technology at my fingertips, but there is something I realized today about motherhood and AI.

As much as I use it to plan, brain dump or help me be more efficient, it still doesn’t make motherhood “easy.” I will never fully “have parenting figured out” or have AI create a perfect plan for my motherhood journey. (That would be nice wouldn’t it?)

This morning was a tough morning in our house and no amount of AI prep and planning could’ve made it better. When the older kids and I were finally ready to sit down and do some math, my three year old decided to start crying about something. I honestly can’t remember the reason right now, but at that same time that he was distraught, my one year old decided that he was very mad and upset too and they both wanted to be held. The time for reasoning was over, they had both flipped their lids and there was no distracting them or helping them use reason or logic to solve the problem (whatever it was!).

This outburst lasted for about 30 minutes and by this time, the prime opportunity that I had to do some math with my older kids had slipped away. I felt so frustrated and so unable to control these sweet little people that God has entrusted to me.

When the little boys calmed down, I came back to the table with my older kids and we prayed together. I prayed a very honest prayer, “Lord, help me to have patience and be loving because I feel very frustrated right now.”

It was not the morning that I envisioned or wanted. I truly had no other choice in my moment of frustration but to turn to Jesus and say, “help me Lord because this is so hard.” But- those are the moments in my life that have built trust between myself and God. Moments in the hospital with our son as he healed from his heart surgeries, moments of medical setbacks and struggles, these were the times when all I could do was pray- “help me God because I need You.” Sometimes, those are the only words we can say.

The struggle is real, and the struggle is ugly sometimes. Whether we are dealing with a really big trial in our life, or just dealing with a toddler’s 30 minute tantrum. But- there is beauty in the struggle. There is beauty in the weakness. It doesn’t always feel beautiful though. It feels really hard, and helpless. However, I have also felt such a sense of freedom when I admit that I can’t do this alone and ask God to help me.

Life isn’t easy and motherhood isn’t something that we can “figure out” or use AI to make us the perfect mom. If we could do this, then we would have no need for a Savior. No need to call out to Jesus in a moment of total over stimulation, with little to no patience left.