Exactly two years ago today, I was feeling very uncertain. I had packed up my belongings and my 23 month old’s belongings for the next month, or maybe two, we didn’t know. I was 37 weeks pregnant with a sweet baby boy or girl who would require their first open heart surgery 3-5 days following birth.

We lived three hours from the hospital where our baby would be born and doctors wanted me to be closer so we went to my parent’s house, about an hour away.

Packing for this type of experience is surreal to say the least. Clothes for being pregnant- check, clothes for post baby- check, stuff for our daughter to be with grandma and grandpa for an extended amount of time- check, necessities for living away from home for 1-2 months- check?

On top of being hormonal and pregnant with a high risk baby, I was especially emotional because my husband was going back home after our family Easter celebration. I was surrounded by my amazing family, but I was so worried that he would miss the baby being born and not be there as my support.

During this time, God comforted me with simple, slow paced days with my daughter and family. These are sweet times I will always cherish. I took every day one at a time. Thinking too far ahead caused anxiety, so I took it one day at a time.

I also prayed specifically. There were 3 specific things I asked of God during this time and I can say that He answered all of them. Not exactly how I expected, but He did answer them. I asked that my husband would be there when our baby was born (the timing was perfect). I desperately wanted Karalee to be able to meet her baby sibling after he/she was born (this isn’t always possible but she met Jace the day he was born)! I also told God that I did not want to be induced- long story short I was not induced.

Two years later, I find myself in a similar state of uncertainty. Our world has been rocked- economically and in our health with this pandemic. Some of the things we relied on have been temporarily taken away. We don’t know all the answers.

Unrelated to the current global struggles, my personal world has been rocked by a serious diagnosis in our family as well. It’s so normal to be confused and ask God “why?” during uncertain times.

I am choosing to remember the last valley God carried me through, however. Was it easy- no. Did I have all the information- no. Was I in control- no. But God was with me. He gave me those sweet simple joys when I trusted Him day. by. day. He answered my specific, faith-filled prayers. He was present and faithful. I have felt the peace of God amidst uncertainty and confusion, and there’s no better place to rest.

If I can offer any advice during this time it would be to focus on God’s promises to you, take one day at a time, remember the past times when God has been faithful and pray without ceasing.

Isaiah 42:16