Being a parent who has spent significant amount of time in the hospital with my child has forever changed me.

I remember going out to eat on April 26, 2018. Our son Jace had his first open heart surgery on April 23rd, at 5 days old.

I remember feeling guilty for leaving the hospital, but also knowing we needed to get out. Going into the “real world” outside of the hospital felt so strange, so surreal. Could people tell by he way I looked how incredibly tough the last three days had been on me? How my heart ached that I had only held my child twice since he was born? The answer was no.

Our waiter was so friendly and when he asked if we were celebrating anything I said that I had just had my baby and he was 8 days old. After our meal he brought us a small cake to share with “congrats” written in chocolate.

I have never viewed people the same since this day. Everyone has a story. Everyone has something going on in their life that we can’t see. Maybe our kind words or gesture could mean the world to that person.

Even the kind words of our waiter and the curiosity to ask us a few questions meant the world and made our evening feel like a celebration although inside we were flooded with doubt, worry and fear.

It took me going through a hard situation to learn that it is not all about me and perhaps, just perhaps, that person that was rude to me at the grocery store has something really hard happening in their life right now that I cannot see.

I still have my moments of judgment (we all do, we’re human!) but I’m trying to view people with the grace and love that I would want given to me, that HAS been given to me already.