A few days after Jace’s first open heart surgery, a genetic counselor came in to discuss Jace’s genetic blood work with us. The results were truly inconclusive, but you could tell she was reaching for something definitive. Some answer to give us that says, “this is why this happened.” She even added at the end of the conversation that I should take B vitamins because they help prevent defects. Working for an OBGYN and having a nutrition minor, I knew this and I did not need to hear these words. As you can imagine, the timing was horrible and we were pretty upset after talking with her. We had to remind ourselves that she was just doing her job.

This conversation did make us realize that, as humans, we want answers. We want to know why this happened and how long we will suffer and what will happen in the end. But we don’t have those answers. We do have the hope that Jesus will “never leave us or forsake us.”

I am reading the book, “It’s Not Supposed to be This Way” by Lysa Terkeurst right now and it talks about disappointments and trials in our lives and how we handle them.

Something I read tonight really hit me. She shares John chapter 9, where Jesus gives the blind man his sight. The disciples come to Jesus and say, ” Rabbi, who sinned? This man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Jesus’ answer makes me cry.

“Neither this man not his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

To some people this could make them angry, feeling like God is giving them hardship. To me these words of Jesus give me hope and make me feel chosen. Jace is chosen. God will use Jace and our struggles to show HIS power. Isn’t this the ultimate hope? For someone to look at our situation and feel confident that God is powerful and God cares for us and that He can help them too with what they are dealing with. It is not by our own strength, but by Jesus’ strength.

There is also so much freedom in this verse. I think all parents suffer from feeling guilty about something. Even more so when your child is born with a Congenital issue, it’s hard not to think of things you could have done to prevent the problem.

To quote Lysa’s book, (page 133) “This man’s blindness–his own form of hardship and long suffering-wasn’t because of choices he made or ones his parents made. This suffering was placed on him. But it was for a reason. He was handpicked to display the works of God. Through his story Jesus would shine the light of truth and hope for others’ lives to not be so dark.”

Jace, you were chosen to display the works of God! Out of your weakness, God will be powerful.