It’s amazing how songs can describe a situation or a time in life so perfectly. I’m sure you have had the experience where a song takes you back to an exact place and time. For me, the song “Surrounded” by Michael W Smith takes me back to a very specific and difficult time.

Jace was 5 days old and in his first open heart surgery. Nine hours passed until we were able to see Jace. Finally we were allowed to see him and get an update from his surgeon. Everything was looking “to be expected,” except that Jace’s lactate levels were very high. One thing I’ve learned about lactate levels is that high is not good. Jace’s surgeon didn’t know why the levels were rising; if it was simply because his body was stressed or because something was wrong with his heart. Our hearts sank. We returned to the waiting room. My husband wanted to get his mind off of the horror that we were feeling so he turned on Spotify and “Surrounded” was playing. We listened to the song and wept. Finally his surgeon came into the room again and said that he thought Jace was doing better, the lactate levels seemed to be slowly dropping.

Fast-forward about one week after Jace’s heart surgery. The doctors had just pulled out Jace’s chest tube, which was removing excess fluid from the areas around his heart and lungs. This was a step in the right direction. Progress. A few hours after the chest tube was removed, Jace became very upset. I was holding him and he was inconsolable. Thinking he was just fussy, my husband left to take our daughter back to the Ronald McDonald House with my mom. In this short amount of time while my husband was gone, Jace regressed quickly. He was fussy, but also breathing rapidly and it was obvious he was struggling to breath. In a matter of minutes, there were at least 10 doctors and nurses in the room, ready to help. Jace had finally calmed down, but he was still struggling to breathe and we knew something was wrong. As all the medical staff talked around us, Jace and I prayed. He was breathing heavily, but his eyes were steady and glued on me. We prayed to Jesus over and over again for peace and strength, peace and strength, peace and strength. It was all I could say.

My poor husband. By the time he returned from taking our daughter, which was only 15 minutes probably, there was a room full of people around us and they were telling us we needed to step out.

Jace had a pleural effusion, so fluid was building up around his lungs, making it difficult for him to breathe. I’m thankful for the nurses and doctors that day who knew something was wrong and acted quickly.

I’m not going to say that I didn’t cry that day, that I wasn’t worried or stressed, but in a moment that was so scary I felt God’s peace. I felt His presence. And His presence IS an indescribable feeling of peace.

We were surrounded. Surrounded by panic, fear, worry. The lyrics of the song “Surrounded” by Michael W. Smith go like this: “it may look like I’m surrounded but I’m surrounded by You.” In a moment of shear chaos and helplessness, Jace and I felt peace. I felt a bubble around us as we prayed and looked into each others eyes. Surrounded by Jesus. ❤️